Just a kiss
by SuzieCat
Summary: It can't be that hard to get a kiss from Shusei, can it? Hotsuma is having trouble nonetheless. A tiny bit of angst but there will be a happy end for my favorite pair! T for now.
1. Prelude to the battle

**So, I had this sitting on my computer for a while now and it was originally going to be a one-shot but then I thought what the heck and now there will be more chapters. Hotsuma got Shusei back from Ashley and now he wants a kiss (for now). It's not an easy task LOL**

Hotsuma slumped himself on the big bed in Shusei's bedroom, inhaling the scent of his older partner deeply. Shusei had been called to the police headquarters directly after school, one of Takashiro-san's drivers had picked him up which had left Hotsuma all by himself on his way back to the mansion. Already missing his brunette partner, the only place he could think of to be near him was his room. More precisely, Shusei's bed.

The need to be with his partner and friend had amplified since he had rescued him from Ashley's claws. Hotsuma couldn't rationalize this part of his feelings quite fully and it frustrated him to no end sometimes but that didn't make the cold knot in his belly go away when Shusei wasn't with him. Too fresh the memories of when he had found his beloved hanging from the wall in the amusement park where the opts had held him. Too real the fear of something like that happening again.

He hadn't wanted to go home from school with Yuki and Luka-kun since he found it almost physically painful to watch those two together. Yuki was oblivious to a degree that was close to stupidity while Luka was suffering in silence and being near those two made him inwardly cringe. At best, Hotsuma simply wanted to knock their heads together and yell at them to just KISS, for heaven's sake. Which would most likely make him puke but he was willing to hazard the consequences.

But he was one to talk. Shusei and he had shared one intimate moment since he had brought him back from the Ashley ordeal.

One freaking moment and as always, Hotsuma had all but screwed up by letting his temper flare. He hadn't been able to help it. When Shusei had said those words -

_I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do it anymore._

…

_So it would be better if I just disappeared._

cold, naked fear to loose his only partner for eternity had gripped his heart and blacked out everything else. He hadn't known what to do other than grab Shusei's collar and shake some sense into his thick skull. He had felt so helpless at hearing those words that giving way to his anger had seemed to be the best option to cope with this crippling fear.

In the end, however, they shared a long embrace and he remembered how good it had felt to hold his partner so close. In fact, it had felt so incredibly wonderful that he had wanted to never let go of Shusei again. The moment he had wrapped his arms around his partner's fragile frame had opened his eyes. There would never ever be another person for him to fill that special place in his heart.

He still wanted to slap himself for not having had tried more then. But he had been so overwhelmed with all the different emotions, scents and feelings that he hadn't even thought about to shift his head a little to the side and kiss Shusei. Happy beyond words and relieved that his partner, his friend, had come back from the dead to him had dominated his thoughts. Even though it had scared him to no end that Shusei had wanted to die, leaving him all alone in this world forever, the joy of holding his friend had outweighed the pain and worry he had felt in that moment.

Ever since, the thought had been planted in his head. He wanted to have that kiss. And much, much more than that to be honest. More of this closeness, more of the physical contact, simply more of HIM. To Hotsuma, Shusei was simply irresistible. That didn't even convey the kind of need he had for him.

And for that stupid death wish, he would beat it out of his thick skull if necessary. Or love it away. Whatever was more applicable. Maybe he would beat him first and then love him?

Hotsuma gasped audibly at the thought of making love to Shusei and shook his head. They hadn't even kissed, how could he possibly think of doing that? But the gates had been opened and images with Shusei in various states of undressedness kept invading his mind.

So much for the theory though. Despite of knowing exactly what he wanted, he had no clue how to get it.

Because even though he had all the words lined up in his head, they wouldn't come out when he was with Shusei. The brunette either rendered him speechless or reduced him to a mumbling idiot on pretty much every occasion he had tried to breach the topic. Instead of just spitting it out, Hotsuma hid behind his loud mouth and bad temper to cover up the way he truly felt.

And never mention the way Shusei looked at him. These amber eyes saw right through him, outright deflated him, blowing all the so carefully prepared sentences out of the window. Which usually made him angry. Not so much at Shusei (well, maybe a little) but more at himself because he just couldn't seem to get it right. That always was the point when his temper took over and things went downhill.

All the while, his partner wouldn't be making it easier for him. Oh no, the opposite was the case. Shusei would simply stand there, in silence, with a small smile on oh these gorgeous lips, and watch him cursing and yelling at him. From time to time, he would even offer some advise or smart ass comment which, of course, didn't help at all. Other than pouring only more fuel into the fire, that was.

At this rate, he would never get what he wanted. Why was it so difficult anyway? They had been together as lovers before, they knew each other inside and out but so why the awkwardness?

Hotsuma sighed heavily, ready to bang his head against the dark wooden headboard of Shusei's bed just to ease some of his frustration -

"It is rude to lay down on somebody else's bed without taking one's school uniform off first."

- and almost fell off the bed at the sound of Shusei's softly admonishing voice. Hotsuma scrambled, trying to rise to a stand but failing miserably because of those godforsaken sheets that had decided to get tangled inseparably with his legs.

"Fucking christ, do you have to sneak up on me like this?" He turned to face the brunette, ready to unleash a spate of curses when the double meaning of Shusei's words suddenly hit him. Whatever it was that had just been on his mind was flying out of the window with a single strike, leaving him frantically searching for words to cover up his rapidly growing embarrassment.

And the fact that his face was turning into the proverbial tomato wasn't so not helping.

"This is my room." Of course, Shusei stated the obvious. He came closer, casually dropping his jacket and his bag in the armchair along the way. Finally, Hotsuma had turned around enough to face him, cheeks still flaming red. The sight of the young man in front of him blew his breath away - as always. There wasn't a single time when he looked at Shusei that he hadn't marveled about the fact how beautiful he was.

"Looks like you need some help with the sheets." Shusei pointed out with a level voice but Hotsuma could hear the subtle smile in Shusei's words which made him curse silently. This was just going to be another moment of failure for him. How could the other be so calm and collected when he himself was so, well, _not_.

It made him want to pull his hair out. Why was it so difficult for him to just say the words he had been keeping for so long inside his heart?

He already knew the answer to his question. As skilled as he was in combat, his conversational talents if there were any simply sucked big time. Not that he hadn't thought about this over and over again - he actually thought a lot, more than people would actually give him credit for - the talking part was where he screwed up royally each time.

"I don't need any help." He managed to free himself rather clumsily and stood. "It's just a freaking SHEET!" The last word came out louder than he had planned and he slammed his fist that was still clenched around the stupid fabric into the mattress.

See? There it was happening again and there was nothing he could do from stop himself and his loud mouth.

"Now look what you have done to my bed." Shusei, seemingly completely unfazed by this outburst, had closed the remaining distance between them and took the sheet out of his hand, prying each single finger away from the silky sheet.

"You should help me at least to straighten everything." Shusei went on, looking at him ever so calmly. His partner's flaring temper didn't seem to unnerve him in the slightest. That smug look on the brunette's face all but sent Hotsuma into overload.

"What's the point in making the bed now?" He huffed gruffly. "It's almost dark outside." The touch of Shusei's fingers was distracting him considerably.

Said fingers trailed up across the back of his hand a bit, the feathery touch doing wondrous things to Hotsuma's stomach. However, the moment was over before it had really begun and Shusei brushed past him to pull the sheet straight, leaving him staring at the brunette's slim back.

Hotsuma didn't get why his friend kept insisting of making the fucking bed.

"Geez, Shusei. Leave the bed alone. It's not like you're getting a visitor tonight."

The figure in front of him stilled for a second before he resumed his task. When the response failed to come, Hotsuma shrugged to himself.

"Fine." He snapped halfheartedly and got to the other side of the bed to pull the comforter back over the bed.

They worked in silence, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Did he say anything inappropriate? It wasn't as if Shusei would ever bring anybody from the outside to the mansion and the only person that slept in that bed beside his brunette friend was him.

He stopped dead in his thoughts right there. Fact was that he hadn't slept in that bed since… yes, since their talk after Ashley. Granted, he would come here often when Shusei wasn't there or they would sit on the bench near the window and talk or just watch the stars but each of them had been sleeping in their _own_ bed.

Which was nothing they had chosen to do consciously, it just arose from the situation but now that he came to think of it he found it odd. It was supposed to be the other way around.

Damned, they were supposed to be closer toward each other not farther away, he thought angrily to himself. He glanced over to Shusei who was done with his side of the bed as well. His slender frame looked even more fragile in the rays of the setting sun that shone through the window, creating a halo like light around him. He almost looked like an angel, so unearthly beautiful that Hotsuma was afraid the person in front of him would dissolve into thin air at any second.

The sight knocked the air right out of his lungs and he swallowed thickly.

"It's almost dinner time. You shouldn't let Tachibana-san wait." That brought Hotsuma back into the present. The resolve came instantly and hit him with a clarity that was unprecedented.

"Ah, yeah? And what's it with the you? Shouldn't you have said we?" He pointed a finger at the brunette. "And don't tell me you're not hungry. Nobody can live from that little."

Shusei was about to respond but Hotsuma cut him off. He was sure that his friend was going to say something very smart and undoubtedly logical but he didn't give a crap. What he had to say was much more important.

"Oh no, you are not going to smart ass your skinny butt out of this!" He made his way around the bed to where Shusei was while he kept talking as if his life depended on it. And in a way that was even true. If he hesitated now the words would stop flowing and he would never say what he needed to say.

"_We_ are going to eat together." He grabbed Shusei's hand, pulling him with him out of the room. "And tonight, I am going to sleep here. It would be a shame to let all the work go to waste, wouldn't it?" The words all but poured out of his mouth, heart hammering in his chest from the sudden excitement.

Very proud with himself - even though he had missed the mark a little - he stomped out of the room, Shusei trailing behind him, his hand firmly holding on to the person that he wanted to be closer to than anybody else in the entire world. He had made the first step. No matter what it would cost, he would get that kiss.

What he didn't see was the small smile on his partner's face.

**So, chapter 1 is out. I am not sure yet how much I will let Hotsuma suffer before he gets what he wants but if you have ideas that can pose as obstacles, I will gladly consider them as plot ideas :-) But I promise that in the end there will be that kiss, yeah :-)**


	2. Unknown enemy

**First of all, thank you so much for all the attention this little story has been getting and also thank you so much for the lovely reviews and ideas.**

** Fireblaze1807: As per request, the rival will make his appearance :-)**

** yuumon, my Spanish speaking reader: Thank you, thank you for your reviews and ideas. My Spanish is practically non-existent but Google translate did the job for me and yes, there will be competition for poor Hotsuma but there will also be some help :-)**

** Lizz1792: I hear ya, sister :-) Maybe the rating will go up at some point. For now, it's T but I enjoy them both too much so a little lemon might be in there somewhere ;-)  
**

**I hope the chapter isn't too angsty. There will a reward for Hotsuma, I just can't help myself and let him suffer a little bit first. On with the story!**

Hotsuma was still holding his partner's hand in a vice like grip when they arrived in the hall downstairs. He could already hear the other zweilts chat inside of the dining room even through the heavy wooden doors. Touko-chan was gushing over something cute but he couldn't quite understand what is was.

But as if it mattered, Hotsuma thought to himself. Jeez, this girl would always find something to gossip about.

Almost growling, he gripped his partner's hand even tighter.

"You are too rough, Hotsuma." Shusei complained from behind him without raising his voice.

"Oh stop whining, Shusei." He snorted. "You would still be up in your room if it wasn't for me dragging you here."

"I am not hungry and you should stop making such a fuss about it." His darker haired friend said quietly, yet still following along nonetheless.

Hotsuma turned on his heel and all but stuck his finger in Shusei's face. This was getting ridiculous and he was losing his temper - again. They almost bumped their noses because their faces were so close to each other.

"You. Will. Eat." Hotsuma spelled out each word very clearly, getting louder with every letter. "Got it?"

"You don't have to yell at me like this. I'm not deaf." Shusei almost pouted but then again, he never did. If at all, his voice had a slightly chiding tone to it. Hotsuma suddenly realized that there were only a couple of inches between them and drew back, heart galloping in his chest.

He felt the familiar heat creep into his face that seemed to be a frequent side effect of Shusei being near him and huffed.

"I'm hungry. So enough with the talk. Let's just get in and eat." He turned around to open the doors, hiding the embarrassing redness in his face from his friend. It was hard for him to calm down with his feelings so close to the surface.

Shusei was thin. Not that he always had been but Hotsuma hadn't been able to stop worrying since Ashley. He had to admit that his brunette friend had been joining the meals on a more frequent occasion but the amount he would eat was close to nothing. All he would do was take a bit or two, nibble on the bread and then lean back in his chair, listen to the chatter absentmindedly.

Hotsuma knew that he was probably only making it worse by putting so much attention toward the matter but he couldn't help it. The fear of loosing Shusei again was like a constant knot in his stomach, compelling him to watch every bite (or non bite) his partner took with hawk eyes. The fact that Shusei hadn't been eating, at least not enough in Hotsuma's opinion, made the knot grow into an icy coil that weighed him down, paralyzing his thoughts and trapping them into an ongoing spiral of fear. The helplessness he felt in the face of such emotions made him want to slam his fist into the wall.

A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie.

"Hotsuma?"

He jerked his head around and was about to say something on the rude side of the scale but the concerned look on Shusei's face shut him up.

"I'm fine, Shusei." It still came out with more fervor than he had intended to so he added, more softly, this time: "Just let's eat, ok?"

When they entered the dining room everybody else was already sitting in their designated spots, except for Luka who was leaning casually against the wall behind Yuki's chair, his arms crossed in front of him, looking somewhat gloomily over the happy crowd around the table. Ah, no change there.

Yuki looked up to see who entered and a smile lightened up his face. The idiot always smiled. But for some reason, Hotsuma couldn't help but respond, that left corner of his mouth going up in a crooked smile.

"Hotsuma-kun! Shusei-kun!" The strawberry head exclaimed, jumping up at the same time to run into the kitchen and get the food he had prepared without a doubt.

The others seemed to be engaged in small talk, the atmosphere relaxed and free of any dark clouds. Since they had defeated Reiga (for now, at least) the dinners became a jovial affair more frequently. Even Hotsuma with his at times overbearing temper could enjoy these meals together. He was actually willing to tolerate Sairi's presence and his never ending womanizing - but only so often.

They were taking their seats when Yuki came back, a plate piled up with delicious goodness in each hand. He put the plates carefully in front of them, babbling something about ingredients and freshness but Hotsuma had shut him out already. Who cared about the name of the dish? It smelled good so if the taste was anywhere the same it would be awesome.

"Thanks, Yuki." He mumbled, mouth already full. He cast a glance to Shusei next to him who was eying the mass on his plate for another couple of seconds before he picked up his fork and took the first bite. Next to him, Yuki was bouncing with glee and Hotsuma could tell that the others were holding their breath seeing Shusei eat.

"Geez, leave Shusei alone." Hotsuma couldn't take it any longer. "He's eating, alright? Give him some space or we will have dinner in our room." He growled protectively, waving that fork in front of Yuki's face. On the other side of the table, Luka pushed himself off the wall, taking a step toward them.

Hotsuma rolled his eyes but held back the snarky comment about putting the dog back on the leash when he felt Shusei's hand on his arm.

"I am fine." His face turned slightly up to Yuki's. "Thank you, Yuki-kun. It's delicious."

Touko squealed in delight and Hotsuma rolled his eyes. Inwardly, however, he was pleased that he had insisted and made Shusei come down to dinner with him.

"Shusei-kun", Touko said sweetly, catching the brunette's attention. "Say, who was the girl I saw you leaving with after school today? Is she in your class? You two looked so sweet together!" She squeaked in delight, her hands clapping and her face was that of kid that just had gotten the toy of her dreams.

The words stabbed Hotsuma in his chest like daggers and he all but choked on his rice ball. He coughed loudly, trying to regain his composure while the rest of the crowd stared from Touko to Shusei and back.

When he had gotten himself under control the room went completely silent. All eyes were on Shusei, waiting for him to say something.

"Ah, Shusei, finally catching up, aren't you." Leave it to Sairi to make a comment like that.

Next to Shusei, Hotsuma's mind was trying to process what he had just heard. A girl? What girl? There wasn't any girl! Sure, these female leeches had been trying to get near Shusei all this time, fighting among each other to catch his friend's attention with their stupid mini skirts and giggles. But he made always an extra effort to scatter them by looking scary or simply pulling Shusei away from them. And besides, Shusei wasn't interested in girls… was he?

Unmasked fear hit him suddenly like a wave of cold water, almost knocking him off the chair he was sitting on. What if there _was_ a girl? His stomach plummeted to the floor and the sensation made him nauseous. The fork he had been holding a second ago slid loudly on the plate, sending tiny specks of food around. His thoughts circled around the one question that kept spiraling in his head, faster and faster until it made him tremble with dizziness.

_What if there was a girl? What if there was someone that was special to Shusei in a way he wanted to be special to him?_

The thought was almost too much to bear. It felt overwhelming and suffocating, making him gasp for air.

Even in with all his emotions going into overload, the still functional part of his brain noticed how Tsukumo padded his sister's arm gently. Hotsuma could feel the silver haired's gaze rest upon him.

"Now, Touko, don't pressure Shusei-kun." He chided her gently. "I am sure she is just a friend and he only gave her a ride home since she lives close to the police station." The words were spoken loudly and slowly so even Hotsuma, in his current state, could pick up on the message.

Hotsuma barely registered though. Touko's question had rattled his core, threatening to crumble the fundamental pillars of his very existence - a life with Shusei at his side. And he didn't mean it in a friend's way. Deep down, despite all his lacking of words and sometimes flippantly appearing compassion toward Shusei, he had never doubted with one heartbeat that they wouldn't spend their lives together as lovers because that's what they meant to be, they always had been. In all the lives he had lived so far there had never been anybody else than Shusei for him. And he had always assumed that there hadn't been another lover for Shusei either.

What if he had been wrong?

The world around came crashing down on him, panic was seeping through and he jumped up so abruptly that his chair went flying behind him. His hands slammed down on the table with a loud smack, his upper body leaning dangerously toward Touko. In his fear plagued state he took the only route that deemed logical to him - attack.

He could see the shock in her eyes when it dawned on her that she probably had better said nothing. But it was too late, he had passed the point of no return already.

"You!" He bellowed and she cringed in her seat, trying to hide her face behind her brother's back. "Why can't you just keep your stupid mouth shut?"

"Tsukumo!" She whined. Her brother put his arm around her, pulling her close, and looked at Hotsuma, indignantly.

"Leave her alone, Hotsuma."

He gritted his teeth. Dear God, he needed to set something on fire or at least drive his fist into something hard until his knuckles became bloody. Anything if only it would make this burning rage inside his body go away.

Growling, he slammed his fist on the table with such force that the tremor that rippled through the wood sent Tachibana's precious china flying for a second. Then, he turned on his heel and stormed out but not without the door slamming behind him that rattled the house in its foundation.

Once outside, he simply kept running until his breath became ragged and the air in his lungs started to burn. The blind rage was still waging war inside him so he drove his fist into the first object that crossed his way with all the force he was able to muster. The young tree trembled, its bark cracked and a jolt of hot pain shot up his right arm, silencing the other emotion.

"Ah!" He cried out loudly and sank to his knees while holding his hand cradled in front of his chest.

He was such an idiot. How could he ever look Shusei in the eye again after what had happened tonight? Not so much because he had behaved so stupidly - no, that he did all the time and Shusei was more than used to his outburst - but more because of the fact that there supposedly was a girl that had caught his partner's interest. How was he supposed to compete with a _girl_?

He knew almost nothing about girls. He had never been interested in girls, they were annoying at best and if there was any case in point for his theory it was Touko.

"Stupid bitch." He muttered to himself and got up to his feet. Yeah, take that, Tsukumo, he thought to himself, pretty sure that the silver haired zweilt was listening in on him just to ensure that he didn't set the entire woods on fire.

"Trouble in paradise, huh?" Sairi's voice came from behind, making Hotsuma spin on his heel, a scowl on his face.

"What do you want?" He snapped. Out of all people, they had to send Sairi after him.

Said zweilt seemed to sense his thoughts and shrugged.

"Yeah, what can I say. I have a soft spot for losers." He stood a few feet away from him, far enough away to not invade his personal space, hands casually in his pocket, looking as if he was just taking a stroll and not checking in on a mad zweilt with fire powers. Hotsuma loathed him for this and the good looks of his, not trying very hard to hide these emotions to show on his face.

"Sorry to disappoint you, pretty boy. Go and look some place else."

That drew a laugh out of the other.

"Why so hostile, fire bug?" Sairi took one hand out of his pockets and put a finger on his chin. "Maybe I can help you?"

Hotsuma scoffed.

"When hell freezes over." This conversation was over. He strode past the blonde haired young man. He could as well go back to the mansion and deal with the aftermath which was still far better than having an idle chat with this idiot. Despite he overwhelming urge to wipe that smug smirk off Sairi's face, Hotsuma held himself back. It would be hard enough to apologize to Touko - and he was pretty sure that Shusei would make him - but he would rather cut off his hand than do the same to this pompous pansy.

"Remember my words." Sairi called after him, still laughing.

Hotsuma didn't turn back. The faster he got away from him the less likelier it got that he would do something that he regretted later. He took a slight detour to give his frayed mind time to cool off and collect himself.

When he entered the mansion, Tachibana-san was already waiting for him.

"We need to talk, Hotsuma-kun." Tachibana-san's expression was serious and Hotsuma knew that there was no way to talk himself out of it.

Sighing, he followed the master of the mansion into the library. This day just kept getting better and better.

**Thank you for reading! Please drop me a note if you feel like it. What do you think? Can Tachibana-san offer some advise?**


	3. Weakness and strength

**And here is the talk between Tachibana-san and Hotsuma. It took me a while to put this together since our favorite stubborn character didn't want to cooperate. I had to rewrite the second half a few times because it is hard to convince Hotsuma to be reasonable LOL  
**

** Lizz1792: Shusei is a good person - that's why he is my favorite character. And because he is he is able to bring out the best in Hotsuma. Together they are unstoppable. I won't give anything away about the girl yet, surprise ;-)**

** Fireblaze1807: Thank you :-) And I don't think I will let Hotsuma get away with just a kiss. Fanfiction is also about smut and heck, I do love it LOL**

** ExpectoPotato: Interesting idea! I have to admit I never even thought about this combination but it does make sense. They're both very gentle and protective characters so they could find comfort in each other. Maybe something to give Hotsuma a hard time with ;-)**

** yuumon: Thank you! Sairi always seems to be a good fit to upset Hotsuma but I do also think that he is more than just a tease. There's more to him than this little story will allow to explore but for now I will let Sairi play the bad cop :-)**

** KitKat3195: A jealous Hotsuma is always something I love to explore. He is so bad at hiding his true emotions but he is completely oblivious at how bad he really is which only adds to the fun. And there will be an M rated chapter :-)**

** Abby Keeper: Thank you! And I hope you will enjoy the next chapter.**

**Thank you everyone for following my story and adding it to his/her favorites. It means a lot!**

The mansion was quiet. Apparently, everybody had gone up to their rooms already to retreat for the night. He went to the library only to find it empty.

I must have been out for a while then, Hotsuma thought.

Usually, everybody would go to the library after dinner to play board games, chat or simply hang out before going to bed. Sometimes, Hotsuma and Shusei would skip those gatherings to be alone with themselves in Shusei's room. They would sit at the window, letting in some fresh night's air while gazing at the stars. The sky above the mansion was always clear. Hotsuma supposed that it was because the mansion was a magic place, shielded from the rest of the world by a barrier only those with special permission could pass.

Only that those times when they would be sitting together in Shusei's room had been getting fewer and fewer since Ashley.

Hotsuma frowned. Ashley - this wasn't just an opast's name, it was the beginning of a new era. Everything had been turned upside down since then. And the more he thought about this the harder it became for him to understand. Shusei had wanted to die, he had been rescued and they had talked, promising each other to never run away from each other again. The outcome couldn't have had been better.

_So there wasn't supposed to be a problem, was it?_

It made him want to scream for being such a failure. Had he been pushing Shusei away because he hadn't been trying hard enough? Or maybe he had been trying too hard? But Shusei hadn't never said anything that would prove either one so there was no way for him to tell.

Hotsuma shook his head. This was confusing the hell out of him. What was he supposed to do?

"Hard day, hm?" Tachibana-san's voice cut through his thoughts, bringing his attention back to the present situation. Hotsuma jerked his head into the direction the voice had come from and looked into a genuinely concerned face. Completely lost in thoughts, he hadn't heard him entering.

His first impulse was to brush the remark off but then he hesitated. This was Tachibana-san after all. They were alone in the library and he didn't have to pretend. He hadn't really noticed before that he had been restless the whole afternoon ever since Shusei had left to go to the police station but then again, being edgy was his second nature. It took someone like Tachibana-san to pull him out and give him an opportunity to unwind.

"Yes." He simply answered, releasing a sigh that carried all the anger out of him. What was left was a heavy feeling of exhaustion.

"Why don't you have a seat then? I have prepared some tea for us."

The master of the mansion vanished and Hotsuma sat down on the leather coach, letting himself sink in deeply. He wasn't a big fan of tea but today, he thought it would actually be nice to drink a cup.

The door opened and Tachibana-san was back with a tray. He put it down on the small coffee table in front of them and began to pour a cup for each. The scent of jasmine filled the room. When he was done he sat down in the big chair opposite from Hotsuma, legs crossed and sipping his tea carefully.

They didn't speak for a couple of minutes and the silence was a welcomed balm for Hotsuma's mind. Being constantly wired was a side effect of his zweilt powers that allowed him to wield fire but it came with a price. He was short-tempered and easy to provoke most of the time. It was a good thing in battle since it gave him strength and stamina but outside of the battlefield it could be hindering when there were more soft skills required. Not that he didn't have any though. Those who knew him well had seen them but it was on rare occasions that these traits would see the light of day since his prideful temper usually nip them in the bud right away.

Tachibana-san was the first to speak.

"I remember the both of you when you first came to this mansion." He smiled into his tea from the memory. "Shusei-kun wouldn't want to leave his room at first and the only time he would was when you took his hand and showed him around."

Hotsuma couldn't help but smile either. The big house had scared his friend to no end and the only place where he felt safe was in their room. Hotsuma, on the other hand, couldn't wait to explore their new home so it took some persuasion and the promise to not let go of his hand while they would be on the stroll. He had made sure to stay true to his words and they had conquered every square inch of the mansion together.

Suddenly, he missed the touch of Shusei's fingers around his.

The thought let his heart grow heavy in his chest. He stared into his tea cup as if to find the answer there.

Sighing, he put his cup down and looked into Tachibana-san's friendly and familiar face.

"We aren't kids anymore, Tachibana-san." There wasn't a trace of anger in his voice when he said it, he just felt tired and… incredibly sad. Back then, everything had seemed so simply and the first month they had spent together in the mansion were a memory he treasured greatly. He would even go so far and say that they had been happy and untroubled. But no matter how much he wished those time would come back it wasn't going to happen. These feelings laid in the past.

Somehow, the older man sensed his thoughts because a wistful smile appeared on his face and he nodded slowly.

"Hm… " He trailed off, spoon stirring in the teacup. "But there is no reason why you two can't be happy again." Tachibana-san put the spoon back on the saucer, looking at him fatherly.

Hotsuma placed his own cup on the table in front of him before he buried his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

Oh, how he wished that would be true!

Saying that he felt both help- and hopeless would be an understatement.

"I don't know what to do anymore." He said into his hands suddenly, not wanting to look at the master of the mansion in the moment of his defeat. All this time, he had never talked to anybody about this but doing so felt like a heavy weight had just been lifted from his shoulders.

When he lifted his head after a few minutes of silence, he met Tachibana-san's eyes and to his surprise, he found him smiling at him.

"Don't give up just yet. Since when do you get scared off by a little obstacle? It's so unlike you."

The unguarded comment didn't miss its mark.

"I'm NOT scared!" Hotsuma jumped up only to sit down again the next second, sternly reminding himself to keep it together. "I am not scared." He repeated, calmer this time but precise nonetheless.

"So why did you run away then?" Tachibana-san scooted forward in his chair, curiously.

Hotsuma snorted. He knew well enough that his behavior had been childish at best so why did he have to dwell on it? But something in the look of Tachibana-san's face told Hotsuma that he wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Was it because of the girl that Shusei was with?"

Before Hotsuma could even reply consciously, he was up on his feet again, almost falling over the couch table from the momentum.

"Why would I be upset because of this? This is ridiculous!" He barked loudly at the older man who was watching him calmly.

"I see." Tachibana-san leaned back in his chair, his whole demeanor serene. He took a sip from his tea.

_Why is he so calm about all of this? _The older man's display of coolness only irked him even more. Whatever composure there had been left, it was all out of the window by the time Tachibana-san put his cup back on the saucer.

"What does that mean, _I see_? Are you saying that I'm _jealous_ of that girly brat?" Hotsuma clenched his fists but he wasn't going to give in to that suffocating feeling of fear in his chest that threatened to crush him. He would fight it with all he had, he wasn't weak. He was _not_ jealous and he would be damned if he was going to act like some love sick fool.

"And? Are you?" Tachibana-san asked, unfazed.

Hotsuma stared at the master of the mansion, incredulously. What was wrong with this man?

"NO! I. Am. Not. JEALOUS!" He was all but screaming back at him now.

But all Tachibana-san did was waving his hand to shush him.

"You are going to wake up the whole house and besides, you are the one who brought it up yourself." The man could barely hide a smile.

Hotsuma growled, his hand running through his hair in an attempt to calm down enough to sit back on the couch. The man had waited for him to come home and made tea in order to have a conversation. It would be impolite to not give it a try, even Hotsuma could see that. It wasn't that he didn't have any manners, they just tended to draw the short side of the stick when his temper got involved.

He raised his hands in defeat and sat back down, crossing and then uncrossing his legs again. _Why was it so hard to sit still?_

"The only advise I can give you," Tachibana-san ventured on, "is to talk to Shusei."

That was the dumbest thing Hotsuma had ever heard. As if he hadn't tried that before.

"But that doesn't _work_!" He let his frustration show.

"And I can clearly see why." The older man sighed, shaking his head in obvious resignation.

If there had been a spark missing that would have been needed to ignite the fire, well, here it was. Hotsuma was propelled out of his seat by an invisible but strong force, raising his fist toward the ceiling and started his tirade before the rational part of his brain could stop him.

"Are you saying it's all my fault? This is… is… pr- preposterous!" Words were stumbling out of his mouth without thinking. "Why does everyone think I haven't been trying? I HAVE, FOR GOD'S FUCKING SAKE!" Panting from the sudden outburst of rage, he tried to compose himself.

But he couldn't control it for the life of him. Not anymore. The entire day, what had happened earlier, it was just too much. The one drop that caused the dam to break. It just had fallen.

"I am NOT an idiot despite what everybody else might think. I have tried so many times since we got him back but there's this fucking wall in my head and I can't get past it. And with each time it gets harder and harder." His fingers raked through his already messy hair, indicating his desperation if anything else. "He is slipping away from me, Tachibana-san. And the more I try the more distant he becomes and it's FREAKING ME OUT."

He hadn't noticed that the older man had stood up but a gentle touch on his arm brought him out of his reverie. Tachibana-san's face was concerned but Hotsuma could also see compassion in it.

"Has it ever occurred to you that it is you that is distancing from Shusei and not the other way around?"

Hotsuma's mouth dropped open rather ungracefully.

"That's ridiculous!" He huffed, crossing his arms in front of him and staring down at the man. But something had struck a cord because he hesitated to retort back. What if what Tachibana-san had just said was true?

And now that he thought about it, Shusei had never done anything to make him feel as if he wasn't welcome. It had always been _himself_ that would leave the room when it was time to go to sleep. Realization, clear as day, dawned on him and he felt a little sick in his stomach when it actually sank in.

_Oh my God, you're such an idiot, Hotsuma!_ No wonder Shusei would seek out the company of a stupid girl because, clearly, he himself, his best friend and partner, was pushing him away. Not that Hotsuma would so such thing on purpose, nothing was further from his mind but of course Shusei couldn't know, not after all he had been through. Had he really been that naive and thought that everything would be forgiven and forgotten once and for all after one talk?

He let himself fall back on the couch, burying his head in his hands.

"I'm so stupid." He muttered. "So, so stupid! Damn!" His foot kicked the table in front of him hard. The sturdy piece of oak furniture didn't move the slightest but the pain that shot through his toe all the way up to his thigh made him yelp a little.

The couch cushion tilted slightly to the right when Tachibana-san sat down next to him, his hand patting his shoulder gently.

"Now, now, come on, don't be too hard with yourself." Hotsuma didn't have to look up in order to see the smile on the man's face.

"I really screwed up, didn't I?" He turned his head to the right, peaking through his fingers only to see his assumption confirmed. Tachibana-san's smile was almost nostalgic.

"You will be forgiven but you shouldn't let him wait. Time is too precious to be wasted with regrets over things that happened in the past." The master of the mansion's face turned serious. "You are made for each other, Hotsuma. No matter which time or body you are in, you two will always be connected deeply and irrevocably. Don't let get anything in the way of that."

Tachibana-san stood and went to the door. Before he left the library he turned around once more.

"Good night, Hotsuma."

"Good night." Hotsuma replied quietly. The door fell shut and he sat in silence, his thought running a marathon in his head. So many scenes were playing before his inner eye, all the little details he had missed earlier so blatantly obvious now. And none of it was in his favor.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting there alone but when his mind was finally slowing down at one point leaden tiredness mantled him. Heaving himself from the couch with a sigh, he buried his hands in his pockets and went upstairs.

When he came to a halt in front of the door that led to Shusei's room he fought down the trepidation that made his heart lurch in his chest and his stomach churn. What if it was too late this time? What if Shusei did have enough of his temper tantrums and rough charm? What if…

"Enough." He scolded himself quietly. Instead of letting his fears get to him, he had to cling to the words Tachibana-san had said to him earlier. Oh, he wanted to believe them so badly that his hands turned into fists, his fingernails piercing into his palms. When the pain became perceptible he released his fists, exhaling slowly.

That was when he made up his mind.

The other half of Shusei's bed was waiting for him and he would be damned if he let his partner down this time.

**I am still not convinced that it came out good but at this point I didn't want to torture poor Hotsuma (and myself) any longer ;-) Please forgive me for eventual out of characterness. Next chapter will be Hotsuma spending the night in Shusei's bed. No lemon, folks - at least, not yet ;-)**


	4. Calm before the storm

**Hello, fellow readers :-) First, I want to thank everyone for reviewing, liking and following my little story! It really means a lot to me and this is the stuff that keeps me writing :-) Right now, due to my work schedule, I think I can manage to update once a month so please be patient.**

** kaminokoe: That is exactly why I love fanfiction! The manga/anime gives us an idea and then it's up to us to fill it with life and, of course, smut XD And Hotsuma and Shusei are the perfect pair because they have it all, the drama, the tension and the love. I am getting carried away a little here...**

** Kitkat3195: Yeah, we all feel bad for Hotsuma sometimes ;-) But this is what makes him so adorable and in my opinion, he is one of the most lovable characters. He has depth and his absolute devotion toward Shusei and their partnership makes him my favorite right up there with Shusei.**

** Guest: Thank you, I am glad you like it :-)**

** Eva: Wow, you made my day :-) It's not easy to keep them in character since I have my own ideas where the story should go and going back to the character every time can be hard. Sometimes, I write something and then let it sit for a couple of days only to wipe it out completely just because one of the characters doesn't want to cooperate. And Hotsuma can be really stubborn LOL - so I'm glad that they feel real to you :-) Yes, I have been reading the manga - which is by the way freaking awesome!**

** Lizz1792: I promise that Hotsuma won't have to suffer longer than what is necessary for this story ;-) So please bear with me, there is light at the end of the tunnel :-) And regarding Tachibana, I think he's great. He is like a father figure, much more accessible than Takashiro-san. While I believe that they both care, Tachibana is much more human (literally and metaphorically speaking) than Takashiro-san. Maybe not as sexy though ;-)**

** Fireblaze1807: I had this picture in my mind about Hotsuma and Shusei as kids. And then there is this scene in the anime where young Hotsuma opens the curtains to let in the stars and the night sky while Shusei is completely stunned LOL - so I imagined how it must have been both being in the huge mansion all by themselves. And since they are so cute I loved the idea of them holding hands - sigh... **

**Enough with the chatter, on with the story :-)**

Quietly, he turned the doorknob and listened inside. It was just as silent as in the rest of the mansion so Shusei must have had gone to bed already. Opening the door all the way and stepping into the living room he found it lit only by the little reading lamp next to the couch.

With a sleeping Shusei on it, the dim light casting an orange glance over the figure that was curled up under a blanket.

For a moment, Hotsuma simply stood there, staring at his brunette friend. A thousand thoughts were running through his head but only two of them came to the forefront of his mind.

Shusei was undeniably beautiful and he obviously had been waiting for him to return.

His heart clenched in his chest, his throat felt constricted all of a sudden and the air had gotten considerably thicker over the last couple of seconds. Hotsuma was rooted to his spot, not able to move since he didn't want the moment to pass where he could watch the object of his desire without being caught.

He let his eyes wander over the face he loved looking at so much that it sometimes hurt, the mess of brunette hair that was spread across the pillow, they followed the delicate jaw line down the curve of Shusei's neck to where the hem of his shirt began and then he took in the whole picture that was simply too captivating to look away from. There wouldn't come the day when he would grow tired of that sight.

To him, Shusei was perfection. There would never be another that he would look at in the same way as he was looking at Shusei right now.

Out of their own volition, his feet took a step forward, then another and another until he was standing right in front of him. Not sure what to do next, he knelt down until his face was on the same height with Shusei's. A stubborn lock of brunette hair had fallen across Shusei's cheek and Hotsuma couldn't help but reaching out, brushing it away gently, his fingers touching the silky skin of his face. He let them stay there for a moment longer than necessary just to savor the feeling of Shusei's skin beneath his tips.

When his sleeping partner stirred he jerked his hand away, falling on his behind from the sudden move.

"Jesus Christ, don't do that!" He whispered loudly, hoping that he hadn't been caught in the act. His heartbeat was a steady drum in his ears and his first instinct was to flee the room. Instead, he watched, completely enraptured, how Shusei's eyes fluttered open. The world around him was blended out as the young man in front of him blinked a couple of times and then looked at him, a small smile on his lips.

Hotsuma's heart stopped right there. Time had just ceased to exist.

_Oh fuck. _He was certainly going to die of embarrassment right here on the spot. Why, out of all the possibilities out there, had he had to touch him? He could have just looked at him but no, he had touched him and now Shusei was awake because of that. While his mind went along scrambling incoherently, drawing up all the different ways he was about to be humiliated, he didn't notice the hand that came out of under the blanket and reached for him.

"… hurt." The gentle touch of Shusei's fingers around his wrist brought Hotsuma back into focus, his heart stumbling back into a staccato rhythm.

"Huh?" He stared at the fingers that encircled his arm and then he looked up to meet Shusei's gaze.

"You are hurt." This time, the words registered and his eyes moved to the wound on his hand. _Oh. _It must have had happened when he punched the tree.

"It's… nothing." He mumbled, growing more embarrassed with each second that passed. Shusei was still holding his hand and the area where they touched seemed to be the dominating thing on his mind. Each nerve came together in that one single spot, creating a fuzzy warm feeling that was spreading throughout his whole body. Needless to say that all other processes were being on the back burner at this very moment. Which included the ability to speak, apparently.

Shusei threw back the blanket and slid from the couch to the floor where Hotsuma was, bending over the wound to examine it. He watched in awe as the brunette leaned even further down to what seemed to plant a kiss on the scratch. When there was only the fraction of an inch left between his hand and Shusei's lips reality finally caught up with him and he pulled his hand away quickly.

"It's… f-fine." Judging by the rate his heart was beating in chest from the almost kiss he was sure that he wouldn't have survived the actual feeling of Shusei's lips on his skin. He was overly aware of Shusei's presence now, his ruffled hair, his pajamas that weren't buttoned all the way up and revealed just enough of his partner's well sculptured chest to make the sweat break out on his forehead.

"We will need to put a band aid on it or you will stain my sheets with it." Shusei didn't raise his head nor did he move. And for the first time in weeks, Hotsuma really looked at his friend and heard the unspoken question behind the words that had just been spoken.

_Will you stay with me tonight?_

How could he ever not have had noticed the insecurity in his friend? Before his inner eye, everything fell into its place. Shusei normally wasn't one to interact much with others. But because of his gentle and calm demeanor everyone felt drawn to him. Since there wasn't much resistance from his side Shusei was always surrounded by other people but he always seemed to be out of place somehow. Friendly, yes, but always distant.

Only the people he cared about got to know the true Shusei - the one that gently admonished when he was worried or the one that made a smart ass comment when he wanted a certain someone stay out of trouble. It was his unique way to show that he cared.

Dumbstruck, Hotsuma held out his injured hand like a peace offering.

"Right." One word sentences seemed to be the way to go in order not to look and sound like a complete idiot. However, inwardly, he wanted to smack himself senseless with the nearest object for being so awkward but he didn't trust himself. For once, he wanted to do the right thing and not let out a biting remark to cover up his own shortcomings.

Shusei suddenly raised his gaze at him and flashed him a smile that was both adorably cute and impish. Before Hotsuma could even respond - even though he seriously doubted since it practically wiped each existing thought from his mind - Shusei bustled into action.

"I'll be right back, wait here." The brunette got up and turned to go to the bathroom to retrieve the band aids from, leaving Hotsuma staring after him, mouth open. When his brain recovered from the short circuit caused by his partner's smile and kicked into gear again he sat up, running his healthy hand through his hair.

Was it just him or was it incredibly hot in their room?

Before he could ponder about the question any further Shusei was back with the promised band aid. A few quick moves and the small strip was applied to the scratch. Shusei's fingers brushed over the wound, not wanting to let go of his hand. His own heart beat was so loud in his ears by now that Hotsuma was sure that Shusei was hearing it, too. Breathing was getting harder with the second and he tried to swallow the lump that had been building up in his throat.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to pull away, completely captured by the featherlight caress, his heart thumping so wildly that he was worried for a second that it would give out. He felt quite lightheaded which made it all but impossible to think clearly, too thick was the haze Shusei's proximity had wrapped him in.

"We should go to bed now. It's late and we have school tomorrow." Shusei's voice broke the spell and pulled him out the fog that clouded his mind. Partly, at least. But it was enough to bring back basic body functions like movement and speech.

"Huh?" Well, scratch speech but movement definitely worked. He followed Shusei into the bedroom.

While his brunette friend went straight to his side of the bed and crawled under the comforter with a heavy yawn Hotsuma undressed himself until he was only wearing shorts and t-shirt, discarding his clothes on the floor. Then he made his way over to the other side of the bed, sitting down sideways on the edge of the mattress.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Snuggling into the sheets, Shusei took the thought right out of his head.

_It's been too long._

The words were there, right on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't say them out loud. His voice would have failed halfway through, he was sure of it. So all he did was nod.

Shusei sighed next to him. It wasn't a heavy sigh, it was lighter, one of those small sighs that is carried by a happy thought.

"Good night, Hotsuma."

He quickly mumbled his response, too afraid that the lump in his throat would betray him and Shusei turned off the lights. The room went dark, the only light source that was left was the pale moonlight that shone through the window.

Hotsuma laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. The moon was casting shadows which flickered into different shapes and sizes as clouds moved through the night sky. He still was way too worked up to sleep but he knew that Shusei was tired so he kept quiet and didn't move.

He had no idea for how long he had been watching the play of light and darkness only that it must have had gotten really late by now. Sleep wouldn't be a bad idea. Tough luck, he was wide awake. Even though all the excitement had left him mentally exhausted, physically, it had had exactly the opposite effect. He was so wired and coiled up inside that sleep seemed to be impossible.

The conversation with Tachibana-san had left him wary of his temper. Until now, he hadn't really thought about it, his regular outbursts had just been a part of his personality, helping him along the way to cope with the rejection and bullying he had experienced as a kid. By not letting any of this get to him he had managed to keep himself sane but to what expense - he had pushed away the one person that meant the world to him.

The fire inside of him, his gift, talent or curse - depending on how one looked at it - didn't mean to mend, when it was released it consumed, eradicated and destroyed. It had almost destroyed Shusei years back. The scars were proof of that. He had never ever meant to hurt the gentle and quiet Shusei.

It had taken him a long time to accept that Shusei had gotten these scars while rescuing his life. Without them he wouldn't be here. Now that he had accepted the fact he had to abide by it. Never to look away again wasn't as easy as it had sounded when he had made the promise but he would be damned if he was to give up now - for his and for Shusei's sake.

Next to him, the brunette was breathing in a slow and steady rhythm, indicating that he was fast asleep. He faced him, long dark eyelashes resting on beautiful alabaster skin, his face relaxed, the corners of his mouth drawn upward almost imperceptibly to the slightest smile. He looked happy.

For the slightest moment, he thought that Shusei looked happy because he was spending the night but he wiped that silly thought right off his mind. As long as he knew his friend he would always smile in his sleep so this wasn't any special.

Carefully not to wake him, Hotsuma turned onto his side to get a better look. This time he would only look, the scare from earlier still fresh in his memory.

Shusei's hair was disheveled, surrounding the delicate features of his face in a lovely mess. He had one hand stowed away neatly under the pillow while the other was resting next to his cheek. His skin was almost glowing in the pale light that was cast through the window by the full moon.

Unashamed, his eyes wandered to Shusei's mouth, wondering not for the first time what it would be like to feel it upon his own. His lips were rosy and plush, the lower part a little more than the upper. They were almost feminine in their display. His fantasy was running higher with each second he kept staring at this alluring piece of his brunette partner's face so he forced his eyes away from it and let them wander south to his jawline and neck only to find himself even more intrigued.

_Oh fucking Christ. _He was doomed.

The entire sight was literally breathtaking. Hotsuma released his breath as quietly as possible that he hadn't know he had been holding. With whatever was left of the sane part of his brain he forced himself to breath normally.

When his heart rate was down to 'I just ran a marathon' level he turned on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. As he was feeling right now he would probably be up all night long. But he would be lying if he had said he wasn't happy himself.

He was here with Shusei, in his partner's room, in the same bed. And it felt fucking right.

**Next chapter, meeting the enemy and even more advice. As it's planned right now, there will be two or three more chapters so the end (lemon, my friends, lemon) is near XD Please leave a review, they always make my day!**


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